u wrote it on the wall 12 months ago

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Life Changes (authored 8/10)

PART I

Or should I say things change Life... And to what do I own these changes? Fate? Idiocy? A Divine Plan? Who the Hell knows. FUKK! At this point I don't really care.

All I knows is this - we play the cards in front of us. Kinda sounds "matter-of-fact" or dogmatic but, what are you gonna do??? Run and hide I guess would be an option. But shit always comes back to bite me right in the ass! I could pretend to "be in the moment" but, I suck as an actor. Plus I would be walking away from the most bitter-sweet thing to happen to me.

The only thing I know is that I have to endure that Hell for a while. Making shit up as I go along usually works for me... so I am gonna keep doing it. That could mean my situ changes TODAY! or in 3 years... I dunno. My experience says that when I push for shit, it NEVER works out (see the fukkin bullshit I'm in now). So I will let this path develop on its own and see where it leads me.

SO, while I'm on this little journey, I can fukkin guarantee you one thing... I WILL BE THE BEST MUSTAFA I CAN BE FOR MY LIL SIMBA (btw, SIMBA's a girl). And no bitch next door nor anyone out there is going to keep me from loving and cherishing that lil honeybee until I be burned to the ground and stuck in a jar! NO ONE!!!


PART II

Do you have a certain food that you ABSOLUTELY love and could eat all the time - except for one thing??? I love BBQ sausage (NO DIKK JOKES FUKKERS) but I cant eat more than a link and a half 'cause I end up getting a headache from all the grease or something. But dayumm that shit is good with some sauce in between some white bread with the sauce dripping down your fingers!!! Mmmmmmmm so good. In hind-sight you know that shit isn't very "good" for you and you shouldn't eat a ton of it anyway............. BUT FUKK IT'S SOOOOO GOOD!!!


I remember once when I met this girl. She was very cute and very "my type." She was nice and friendly, laughed at my jokes. She stared at me when I worked out and I stared at her when she did practically anything. Man, she was hot! But she had a bf... and she went through this little tortured relationship with him and his inability to actually love her... I never understood it really. So we were friends and such. YADAYADAYADA. Then a couple of years later, she and I were talking and at that point she was single, I was in a relationship - with nothing to lose. I asked her, "what ever happened to us?" She said something that I will never forget and that sometimes haunts me. She said that she regretted loosing me (?) and I was the one that got away........

Well fukkin piss on me and call me Buford!!!

I was shocked! Like just finding out that Darth Vader IS my father shocked!!! (btw my real father is not that caring or involved enough to tell me shit!) I was really quite surprised by that. Made me think that timing has a lot to do with EVERYTHING!!! kinda like catching the crosstown when you're ALREADY late for work - if u miss it, you're fukked like Chuck! But if u catch it, you'll be on time to work. Timing can affect the person that sleeps next to you. It can also save you from that same person................. trust me on this one. But it can also keep things from happening until it's time... U know, like when ur baking cookies and u wanna take them out already so u can enjoy their soft-gooey-chocolate-iness!!! OR u can wait and ALLOW time to do what it has to and enjoy that perfect cookie when the time is right. FUKK I HATE WAITING!

So I choose to wait... adrift on this ride we call Life. and while afloat, I will see and experience different things... question is, how's ur boat?