all i know is.......

Once I left the bullshit behind... u are beginning to fill the vacancies in my life that I mentioned to you. In retrospect, u are filling more than I "required" with anyone else... the this.. the that... shit and stuff... all the other discrepancies i thought i needed to change. Getting to understand you, to know you, to feel you, is the opening my eyes to world that i thought was limited to another (like I said before).

I guess you have figured out by now that I tend to pour out my guts when it has exceeded its limit. And I am OK with that. I dont ever feel like I am confessing..... but more like a testament to what's been cooking and finally served on a much well deserved plate. The things and possibilities that have been discussed and dreamt are incredibly satisfying and fulfilling,

You say it's me... and I believe that... The heat is so......... intense... never been the "victim" of intensity... always the "offender." and the evocation you provide is absolutely fukking ridiculous!!! I feel like I am hooked up to a car battery and YOU are hitting me with the red and the black every time you turn me on! What part of, "Kill Me Now" do I have to explain? I could die in your eyes, I could live in your words. I could breathe in your touch. And it intensifies the more we spend fleeting time together... so it gets worse........... just let me swim in the whiskey barrel eyes on more time.. every day.

Fifteen to forty-five days is going to make me and break me... For obvious reasons...

I am not worried about the departure... nor the return... i am not looking forward to the denial of access to what has been bequeathed upon me. To be given such a precious gift and then to have to set it down for an extended period of time without the ability to reach out and touch it when needed... I know will be tough - for boff!

BUT the reward for traveling through HELL will be a journey through hills and beaches with a man that will protect you... and console you... and ignite you... and cool you... and sacrifice for you... as we said...

#forever and a #lifetime